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All The Sheep Jokes
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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 1 added by sheepman

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 2 added by TheFalseShepard

Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?

A: Because she did a ewe-turn!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 3 added by TheFalseShepard

Q: Why couldn't the little lamb play outside?

A: It was being baaaaaaaad!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 4 added by TheFalseShepard

Front Seat

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a sheep in the front seat. "What are you doing with that sheep?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo." The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the sheep again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over."I thought you were going to take that sheep to the zoo!"The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 5 added by TheFalseShepard

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A: A cloud.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 6 added by TheFalseShepard

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

A: "Fleece Navidad!"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 7 added by CuteLamb

A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a sheep in the front seat. "What are you doing with that sheep?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo." The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the sheep again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over. "I thought you were going to take that sheep to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 8 added by CuteLamb

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? A: "Fleece Navidad!"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 9 added by oil_the_german

Alex at my work likes sheep too. A lot.

HAHAHA LOLZ

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 10 added by workablejacob627

Baaing is greaaatful!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 11 added by SheepLover8902

What did the white sheep say to the black sheep? "Why are ewe so Baad?"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 12 added by KCarlson

What is a sheep's favorite dessert?

Baaaa-khlava!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 13 added by charliefwiseman

What happens if a sheep gets stuck in a fence.

Another sheep sais i will get ewe out

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 14 added by charliefwiseman

What do farmers say to sheep.

Round up yourself mate

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 15 added by lambie and lavender lamb

There are twenty sick sheep (supposed to sound like 26 sheep.) one dies how many are left??? 19

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 16 added by Sheep

What did the sheep say to his sheep friend?

I love ewe!!!!!😜

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 17 added by cookiecrumble

Why did the sheep cross the road?

because the chicken was off dutey

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 18 added by Im getting bullied so im sad

hey wanna come too the baarr no im feeling sheepish.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 19 added by Im getting bullied so im sad

Q:Why did the sheep hop over the fence?

A:To hop over again

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 20 added by dolph lundgren

I'm thirsty, where's the BAARR!!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 21 added by cola

what do you cross a lamb with a cow???

an mobaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 22 added by Lia

Q:what has 8 legs, 4 ears, and twice as much wool as a sheep? A: 2 sheep.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 23 added by jungleeyejoe

Why did the rams commit suicide? In the barn, they played the song There Will Never Be Another Ewe.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 24 added by jungleeyejoe

Why did the ram jump off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 25 added by jungleeyejoe

Why did the ram jump off the cliff? He didn't see the ewe turn.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 26 added by saffy

What do you get if you mix a sheep with a Kangaroo? A woolly Jumper!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 27 added by saffy

What did the sheep say to another sheep after they had come back from being ill? How are ewe!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 28 added by buddysparentdbs

What sheep says after he has watched the news. I heeeaaarrddd it on the news.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 29 added by buddysparentdbs

My jokes are sheeeeppppp.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 30 added by thirtypoints

What did the lamb say to the black sheep?

"Mommy said you like chicken!"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 31 added by Lamblover97861

I love sheeps

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 32 added by Tor

Mary had a little sheep With the sheep she went to sleep The sheep turned out to be a ram........ Mary Had A Little Lamb.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 33 added by Tor

Desert Island

A man and his dog are shipwrecked onto a deserted island. After a few days he decides to reconnoiter the island. He discovers that the only other inhabitants are sheep. He recalls how his farm buddies would brag how they would screw sheep for kicks and he says to himself: 'I'll never be that desperate.'

Sooooo, a few days later he can't get those sheep out of his mind, and soon he's sneaking up on the flock. Just as he is about to pounce on a really cute one, the dog grabs his leg and won't let go. He snaps to, and thanks the dog for keeping him from making a fool of himself. This same scene happens every night for a month and the guy is really getting pissed at the dog.

Suddenly one day, the man spies a liferaft bobbing in the surf. In the raft is a beautiful young girl, half dead but alive. He takes her back to his hut revives her and nurses her to health. After a few days the girl is feeling fine, and that evening a rush of gratitude sweeps over her....

She confronts the man: 'I owe you my life. I'm yours forever. I'll do anything you want'

'Anything?'

'Anything!!'

'OK, hold that dog for ten minutes!!!'

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 34 added by Tor

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mind if I speak to him?" Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie." Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?" Dog: "Doin' all right" Villager: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Dog: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Villager: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool" Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Horse: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." Villager: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Villager: "The sheep's a liar"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 35 added by Sara

Q.what did the sheep say to the farmer?

A. bahahahhahah

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 36 added by corjerky

Q. What do you call a guy standing on a corner in Wrexham, Wales, with a sheep under each arm ?? A. pimp.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 37 added by SHEEPMAN12

my friend james here has no PENNNNISSS!!!!!!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 38 added by SHEEPMAN12

THE PERSON SAID YEA!!!!!!! :D

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 39 added by SHEEPMAN12

WHAT DID THE SHEEP SAY TO THE PERSON????... CAN I SEE YOU YOUR WINKY AND DO A LITTLE STINY PINKY:)

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 40 added by littlebosheep

A farmer went to go see the queen. When he got there, the queen shook his hand, and gave hime a present. When he got home, he told the sheep. They looked at him and said: Baa.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 41 added by shannsheep

what goes baa, has a wooly coat, eats grass and poos? a sheep you idiot!

Knock Knock Who's there? Baa Baa who? AAAHH! (scared)

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 42 added by kate sheeplover

why did the sheep cross the road?

because the chicken was off duty!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 43 added by mole

Why did the sheep go 'moo'?

Because he was learning a new language!!!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 44 added by Jane

Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo?

A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back of a sheep

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 45 added by Gracie xxx

Why did the sheep baa?

Because that's what noise they make.

I know it's bad.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 46 added by Shaun

WHY DID THE SHEEP CROSS THE ROAD?

BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 47 added by mollymorris

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 48 added by gsheep

Q. What do you call a guy standing on a corner in Wrexham, Wales, with a sheep under each arm ??

A. pimp.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 49 added by woolleylicious

Q. What do you call a guy standing on a corner

in Wrexham, Wales, with a sheep under each arm ??

A. pimp.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 50 added by Sheepakins

Why did the sheep cross the road. To get baaaahck to his pasture.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 51 added by yasemin1999

lamb lamb proberly made out of ham!!!!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 52 added by yasemin1999

what did the sheep say on christmas? Baaah humbug!!!!!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 53 added by Farmer Bob

Sheep 1 - You know what

Sheep 2 - What

Sheep 1 - Just the smell of mint sauce turns my stomach

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 54 added by Farmer Bob

Sheep 1 - You know what

Sheep 2 - What

Sheep 1 - Just the smell of mint sauce turns my stomach

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 55 added by loverdoll

what do you call a hot male sheep?

a shehot

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 56 added by Ness

What did one sheep say to the other sheep? "after ewe"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 57 added by Ness

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump! SH2: What about the sheep?!? SH1: Fuck the sheep!!!! SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 58 added by Ness

What do you call safe sex in Australia? Marking an 'X' on the sheep that kick.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 59 added by Ness

Blondes and Sheep

Every jokes page has to have a blonde joke, so here goes

Sheep

There was a typical blonde. She had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, and she was sick of all the blond jokes.

One day, she decided to get a make-over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She also went out and bought a new convertible. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.

'That's a nice flock of sheep.' She said.

'Well thank you.' Said the herder.

'Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.' said the woman.

'Okay.' Replied the herder.

'If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?' Asked the woman.

'Sure.' Said the sheep herder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied '382'.

'Wow.' Said the herder. 'That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home.'

So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car. Then, the herder said 'Okay, now I have a proposition for you'.

'What is it?' Queried the woman.

'If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?'

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 60 added by Ness

What do you call a Welshman with 500 girl friends?

A Shepherd.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 61 added by Ness

Where do you get virgin wool?

Ugly Sheep

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 62 added by Ness

There's the old story of elephants using sheep for tampons but the stopped.

They were getting toxic flock syndrome.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 63 added by Ness

When a sheep is rammed, does it then become ewes'd?

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 64 added by Ness

Wales

Where men are men and sheep are nervous....

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 65 added by Amanda

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump! SH2: What about the sheep ?!? SH1: F**k the sheep !!!! SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 66 added by Amanda

Why did the lamb call the police? he had been fleeced

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 67 added by Amanda

What do you get if you cross a boa and a sheep?

a wrap-around sweater

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 68 added by Amanda

Mary had a little sheep, And with this sheep She went to sleep. The sheep turned out To be a ram And Mary had a little lamb!.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 69 added by Amanda

How can you tell a cloned sheep has gone bad?

They become ewesless

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 70 added by Amanda

How can you tell that a cloned sheep has died? There's always a ewelogy

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 71 added by Ness

There were these two sheep and one of them walked into a baa

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 72 added by Ness

What did the Cloned Sheep say to the other sheep?

I am ewe.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 73 added by lil zoe

what to you get if you take the legs off a sheep , a cloud

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 74 added by fancy a wank

what do you call a sheep with no wool

a jumper

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 75 added by fancy a wank

two sheep in a feild

One sheep says baaa

the other sys I was going to say that

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 76 added by CountryGirl, Since 1992

Once there was a blonde who was tired of hearing blonde jokes, so she died her hair brown.

A few days later she was driving in the countryside and stopped to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute wooly creatures, she said to the shephard "if I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shephard, always being a gentleman, said "Sure!"

The blonde thought for a minute and for no discernable reason said "352." This being the correct answer, the shephard was amazed, and exclaimed, "You're right! OK I'll keep my end of the bargain. Take your pick of my flock."

The blonde considered the flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.

When she was done, the shephard turned to her and said, "OK, I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 77 added by scarlet h

WHAT GYMNASTICS THING DO SHEEP DO EVERY WEEK ON A MONDAY?THE BAAS!!!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 78 added by DeadAngelLover22

What is a sheep's favorite newspaper?

"the Wool Street Journal"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 79 added by DeadAngelLover22

Why did the lamb call the police?

he had been fleeced

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 80 added by DeadAngelLover22

Q, What happened to the clock that fell into the sheepdip?

A, It lost all its ticks.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 81 added by DeadAngelLover22

Q: What do you call a sheep without legs?

A: A cloud.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 82 added by DeadAngelLover22

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.

SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump! SH2: What about the sheep?!? SH1: Fuck the sheep!!!! SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 83 added by FERNTREE

hi

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 84 added by FERNTREE

hi

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 85 added by scarlet h

i close my eyes drew back the curtan,baaa,to see for certan,baaa,what i thought i knew.lol

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 86 added by tinkerbell1209

what did the macroni say to the tomato

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 87 added by Land Owner Tarquin

Did one hear about the sheep who went to have a haircut?

It went to the Baabers!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 88 added by Ruby La Rue

What do you call a sheep without legs?

A cloud.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 89 added by riggsy

wat do u get wen u cross gareth gates with will young?

a stuttering sheep

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 90 added by ♥♫→BIG-BOY←♫♥

What do you call a Welsh man with a sheep under each arm?

A pimp!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 91 added by Big Sheep Pimpin'

Q: What do you call a sheep without legs? A: A cloud.

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 92 added by Big Sheep Pimpin'

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground. SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

SH2: What about the sheep ?!?

SH1: Fuck the sheep !!!!

SH2: (pause) Do you think we have time?

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 93 added by Zwart Schaap

Two dumb blond sheep are walking on the grasslands. Suddenly they both fall into a hole. (you didn't see that one coming, did you ?) They can't get out.

The first dumb blond sheep starts to shout: "B!! B!!" It does not seem to work. No help is coming. The first dumb sheep shouts again: "B!!! B!!" The second dumb sheep says: "It might help if we shout together."

The first dumb sheep shouts: "Together!! Together!!"

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 94 added by Steven O.

wut did the sheep say to his girlfriend? I love EWE!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 95 added by crys

How does a sheep laugh?

Baa Baa Baa

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 96 added by HaNnAh Luvs MiChAeL

Q. Why did the Scottish farmer take his sheep to the edge of the cliff?

A. They push harder that way

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 97 added by Lolly

How did the lamb play vollyball with other sheep?

Because, the lamb baa-lanced the ball on her head to throw it over!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 98 added by Ripy

What does an elephant use for a tampon?........A sheep!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 99 added by LammiePie Muffin

What did the ewe say to the ram on their Christmas vacation in Mexico?

Fleece Navidad!

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adopt a lamb Farm Games Sheep Joke - 100 added by Awesome Person

A shepherd was looking after his sheep on the side

of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche

screeches to a halt. The driver, a young man

dressed in an Armani suit, Ray Bans, Tag Heuer

watch, White Cerutti shoes, tailor-made mauve

shirt, with a Boss tie.

He gets out and asks the shepherd 'If I can guess

how many sheep you have, can I keep one?'

The shepherd looks at the large flock of sheep and

says 'Okay'.

The young man connects his laptop to his mobile

phone/fax, enters the NASA website, scans the

field using his GPS, opens the database linked to

60 Excel tables, filled with logarithms and pivot

tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his

high tech mini printer. He studies the reports and

says to the shepherd 'You have 1586 sheep'.

The shepherd replies, 'That's correct. You can

have the pick of my flock.'

The young man packs away his equipment, looks at

the flock and puts one into the boot of the

Porsche.

As he is about to leave, the Shepherd says, 'If I

can guess what your profession is will you return

the animal to me?'

The young man thinks for a minute and says 'Okay'.

The shepherd says 'You are a Management

Consultant'.

The young man says 'Correct, how did you know?'

The Shepherd replied, 'Simple. First you came here

without being invited. Second you charge me a fee

for something I already knew. Third, you don't

understand anything about my business. - Now, can

I have my dog back?'

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